Parent Stressors? Try This Message Template

I wanted to share a recent exchange with a colleague on LinkedIn, who said one of her biggest college essay challenges is parent involvement. The underlying issue, as I see it, is how to respect and value parents while also keeping them from over-stepping. They are important, after all, and many of us are parents too. We get it. Here’s how I responded:

We have learned (and perhaps you have too) that giving parents a job is crucial, because if we don’t, they create their own, and that usually looks like unhelpful hovering.

We’ve created a series of templated emails we send before and during essay coaching that explain our process and reassure the parent that their student is on the right track. Here’s an example. This one goes out after the student has chosen a topic with their counselor and is starting to write the first draft.

[Parent],

I wanted to check in and let you know how pleased I am with the direction your child’s essay is headed. The topic illustrates [insert characteristic(s)], and I am confident admissions officers will find the story compelling and engaging. Highlighting these positive traits will help round out the application.

We encourage our students to write a first draft that’s messy and too long, so they feel free to explore their topic in depth without worrying about word count, first lines or other structure and polish concerns. With that in mind, I encourage you to wait till the final draft to take a peek.

If you have any questions, please feel free to get in touch. FYI, every writing activity includes an estimated time frame. That should give your child a sense of how long to spend on each task.

[Counselor]

That email works. It’s gone out to thousands of parents over the years. Sure, some still stress out, but most feel reassured. This message is part of a carefully timed series. Whether you work through multiple drafts with your students or you barely have time to read each essay once, setting parent expectations goes a long way toward keeping parents (and students) calm and focused. The Wow Method can help you identify when and how to engage parents in the essay process. If  you don’t already have our ten steps, download a copy today. 

Susan Knoppow is CEO of Wow Writing Workshop. She can be reached at susan@wowwritingworkshop.com