What happens when they’re homesick?
Longing for the comforts of home when everything is new and different isn’t surprising, but the depth of homesickness among students on college campuses appears to be rising.
According to Christopher Thurber, a psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy, a boarding school in Exeter, New Hampshire, “about 20 percent of students entering college say they’re bothered by missing home, and about 5 percent have homesickness so severe that it interferes with their daily lives or causes significant symptoms of anxiety or depression.”
My niece Sara Griffin, who attended Elon University in Elon, North Carolina, says that she found the transitions, heading home and returning to campus, were the hardest for her. And there’s a bunch every fall. First, there’s the big drop-off in late August. Then, in varying order, there’s Parents’ Weekend, where family members come to campus, and then Fall Break, where students traditionally return home. And then it seems, as quickly as the leaves turn, it’s suddenly Thanksgiving and there’s another visit home. After that time off, students return to campus for sometimes as little as two weeks before they head home again for the holiday break. With this many stops-and-starts in a freshman’s routine, it’s understandable why getting adjusted can sometimes be so challenging for so many students.
It’s okay to miss home a little, but it’s not considered very socially acceptable to let it get to you so much that you become depressed or anxious. One of the biggest problems homesick students encounter is admitting that they need help. Resident Assistants (RAs) are trained to identify symptoms and respond with a variety of tools
Suggested strategies for students to battle homesickness:
- Realize that homesickness is natural and everyone feels it to a greater or lesser degree.
- Don’t make any snap decisions to leave; time is the greatest healer.
- Figure out what helps you relax (music, exercise, etc.) and what makes you happy on campus, do more of that.
- Get busy. Focus on the new opportunities, new people, and new surroundings.
- Try not to be alone too often. It’s much harder to be sad, bored, and lonely when you’re with other people.
- Determine what you’re missing from home and see if there’s some way to replace or replicate it on campus. For some students, it’s food; a care package can work wonders.
- Don’t call home too often. It’s better to plan specific times to chat. Many homesick students find Skype or FaceTime more challenging because they can see their parents, siblings, pets, house, etc. Try and keep it to a brief phone call.
The good news, according to Larry Marks, PhD, psychologist at the University of Central Florida Counseling Center, is that “usually the feeling lessens as the first semester goes on. Focusing on classes, making friends, and getting involved in campus activities will help with the transition.”
Lee Bierer is an independent college adviser based in Charlotte. Send questions to: lee@bierercollegeconsulting.com; www.bierercollegeconsulting.com
