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Your Student’s Been Deferred. Now What?

Just after Christmas, we got a call from a student inquiring about an additional essay required by the University of Michigan for deferred students. He wanted help writing it.

The student was “postponed” by the Ross School of Business. He wondered if he should call the admissions office, submit additional information beyond the additional essay, or email the admissions rep for his school.

Last year, we would have told him to contact his school’s admissions rep to find out what to do. But UM changed the rules this year. And they added an essay requirement. They also gave instructions; the directions – in an email to every deferred applicant – were crystal clear.

“This form serves as your singular expression of continued interest in the University of Michigan. This form must be submitted prior to Feb. 1st. Please note: Given the high volume of applicants to the University of Michigan, this form is the only expression of continued interest that will be considered. Therefore, additional information/communications sent outside of this form will not be added to your application.”

Our advice: Please remind your students to read the instructions provided by the college before doing anything!

In all of our years working with students applying to college, we have found that most of the information students need to communicate with them comes directly from the colleges.

Tulane gives good instructions about what to do if …Jeff Schiffman, Director for Admission at Tulane, gives specific advice in a blog he penned last year for deferred students.

Highlights from Schiffman’s message:

  1. Read the blog; it offers insight and instructions.
  2. Fill out the continued interest form.
  3. Do email your rep and state you are still interested in Tulane.
  4. Do not call the admissions office and ask why you were deferred.

Some schools, like Cornell, just want a simple check in stating the student is still interested.

“I encourage deferred students to craft an email that lets the committee know of continued interest – I call it checking in,” said Shawn Felton, Cornell’s director of undergraduate admissions, told me. “It should not begin as a dirge. Avoid: ‘I am deeply disappointed that I was not offered admission during Early Decision…’”

Felton suggests students stay positive in their deferral letters, and share why they want to be a part of the Cornell community.

In the case of the University of Michigan, the instructions – that were emailed to every deferred student last month– were easy to follow. They wanted students who were still interested in the school to craft an additional essay.

The prompt:

In 250 words or less, describe how your personal educational goals connect to the University of Michigan’s mission and values.

We are helping our student answer the prompt as I write this blog; this is a new requirement for U-M this year. We helped him parse it, and now, he is wrapping it up with one of our coaches.

You can help your students answer this or other deferral prompts by making sure they understand what the prompt is asking, brainstorming ideas and reviewing the final essay to make sure the answer is effective.

What does UM want to know in this additional essay?

  1. Is the deferred student still interested in the school?
  2. What are the student’s personal educational goals?
  3. How do the student’s goals mesh with UM’s values and mission?

We’re pretty sure those students who are not interested will take a pass on an extra essay. By answering the question, UM will know a student is still interested.

What’s Next?

As you already know, deferred students are not alone. But while fellow seniors walk up and down the halls of your high school boasting about getting into their top choice colleges, it can be devastating for the student who heard no …. or equally disappointing …. maybe later. Postponed. Pended. Deferred.

The deferred student needs to hear from you and other adults in their lives that they are qualified, that they still have a shot at that school. Of course they need to apply to schools that they can get into, those safety schools.

It’s not news to you that being qualified no longer guarantees admissions to the more select schools. So when that happens, the students need a dose of encouragement from you, Mom and Dad, their teachers, coaches. If you can talk to them and help them understand that the application will be re-evaluated for the regular decision pool, they will know there’s still hope.

Find out how to inspire your students during our free webinar

We’re launching a new professional development program for counselors and consultants in January called The College Essay Experience, and we’d love to include you. 

All you have to do right now is sign up for the informational webinar. We’ll give you a taste of our process, and we’ll even do some writing. And there’s a giveaway – a free gift for everyone who signs up. You can join us live or listen to the recording

Learn more on January 15, 1-2 pm EasternSign up here, and then forget about it. In the meantime, enjoy your family and friends.

About the Author

Kim Lifton is President of Wow Writing Workshop, a strategic communication company staffed by experts who understand the writing process inside and out. Since 2009, Wow has been leading the industry with our unique approach to communicating any message effectively. The Wow Method helps business and nonprofit leaders create better blogs, manage social media, develop websites and create other communication materials. It also helps students write college application essays, grad school personal statements and resumes that get results. If it involves words, Wow can help.

4 Things to Do When Your Daughter Gets Rejected by Her First-Choice College

For weeks, your daughter has anxiously checked her account on College X’s portal. She refreshes her email several times each day and even treks out to the snail mailbox to see if her fate has been delivered there. She is hoping for an acceptance to her first-choice college, one that was chosen carefully after an exhausting college search. Your daughter has studied hard throughout high school. She has put her heart and soul into academics, skipped evenings out with friends to prepare for tests and gone into school early for extra help. She has taken difficult courses and achieved, even in subjects that aren’t her favorites. Her activities list is impressive. College X may be a bit of a reach, she deserves this.

The letter arrives. She was rejected. Now what?

  1. Pat yourself on the back for encouraging your daughter to shoot for the moon. If your daughter took a risk in the application process by applying to a reach college where she was not a “slam dunk,” then you have likely raised a confident young woman who will learn from this experience and continue taking chances until she succeeds. Many female applicants are only encouraged to apply to colleges where admission is virtually assured because parents do not want their daughters to feel hurt by rejection. As a society, we tend to protect our daughters from the time they are young by teaching them to be cautious. We allow our sons to fall down and dust themselves off, but tell our daughters to be careful so they won’t experience disappointment. Your confident, smart, talented daughter took a chance with her college application. She may not have won this time but being the type of person willing to put her hat in the ring assures she will have the chance to win the next time.
  2. Realize that the rejection is not about your daughter personally or her ability to be a successful college student. In most cases, rejections are based on institutional need and a competitive applicant pool. Competitive colleges do not have enough space for all qualified applicants and must send rejection letters to top-notch students. Why did they reject your daughter and not someone else? It is impossible to know for sure. Perhaps it is because the college is trying to diversify geographically and your daughter is from a state where they have enough applicants. Maybe it is because she is a violinist but the orchestra just graduated a cellist and the college chose a student who filled that need over your daughter. If your daughter applied a different year when the mix of institutional needs was slightly different, she may have been accepted.
  3. Don’t overreact and don’t underreact. When your daughter was learning to walk, she fell down many times and looked to you as a model of how to react. Even though it was very hard to see your child wipe-out, you did your best to regulate your emotions. By doing so, you allowed your daughter to learn that falling is just part of the process of learning to walk and she could stand up and keep moving forward. In the same way that your daughter looked to you for how to react when she fell down as a toddler, she will look to you for how to react to this rejection. If you get upset, insist the college made an error, call the college, call the school counselor and generally make a big fuss, you will send a message to your daughter that College X is the only path that will allow her to move forward and have a successful and happy life. This is just not true. It is also important not to underreact or make light of the disappointment and hurt your daughter feels. As your daughter’s first choice, College X became a tangible goal that represented the reward she would reap for the effort she put into her studies. Additionally, it is important to remember that identity development is a significant task of adolescence. Between the time that your daughter chose College X as her favorite and she learned that she was not being offered a place in the freshmen class, she tried on the identity of being a College X student and even a College X alum. She did this in her imagination and each time she shared with a friend, family member or acquaintance that College X was her first choice. It is confusing and painful to be forced to let go of a preferred identity and choose a new one. While your daughter is processing this loss, make sure you empathize with her feelings. They are real and not trivial.
  4. Trust that your daughter will bounce back. The stress and anxiety that she feels by being rejected from College X is not necessarily a bad thing. Stress and anxiety can serve as motivators. After the initial disappointment and hurt of not being accepted to College X lessens, your talented and motivated daughter will naturally move into problem solving mode. She will discover that this rejection is also an opportunity to redirect and pursue another path forward. As she engages in the process of selecting a new “first choice,” she might want to visit additional colleges, add a few colleges to her list or plan a gap year experience. If College X remains her goal, your daughter might even plan how she will transfer into College X after she spends a year at another college. You should encourage this exploration.

Students do find a way to put a college rejection into perspective and move forward. Your daughter is the same successful, talented and confident young woman that applied to College X. She will take these attributes and skills to another college and find success and happiness.


Picture of Michelle McAnaney, Founder and President of The College Spy.

Michelle McAnaney is the founder of The College Spy, a full service independent educational consulting firm that assists students and families across the US and internationally with the college selection and application process. Prior to founding The College Spy, Michelle was a guidance counselor and educator for more than 15 years, including serving as the Director of Guidance at two high schools, an adjunct college professor and a GED tutor. Michelle holds a master’s degree in school counseling and a bachelor’s degree in human development. She recently completed UC Irvine’s certificate program in educational consulting and is a MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) Certified Practitioner and a NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Master Practitioner. Michelle visits over 40 colleges each year so that she has first-hand knowledge of the colleges and universities her clients will be considering. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn.

The top 10 most read LINK for Counselors blog posts of 2019

We posted many blogs in 2019 in our E-newsletter that goes out bi-weekly during the school year. These are the top 10 based on click throughs to the blog post:

1. Summer internships for High School Students – January 9, 2019 e-newsletter

2.  The Truth About Extracurricular Activities and Highly Selective Colleges – May 15, 2019 e-newsletter

3.  The Ten Most Common College Application Mistakes – December 4, 2019 –e-newsletter

4.  6 Reasons Your Students Should Take a Dual Enrollment Course and 3 Reasons They Should Think Twice – December 4, 2019 e-newsletter

5.  7 Tips Your Student Can Use to Start the Year Off Right – September 11, 2019 e-newsletter

6.  College Admission Scandal: Symptom of a Larger Problem – April 3, 2019 e-newsletter

7.  The Baggage Activity – October 9, 2019 e-newsletter

8.  What Does an Admissions Officer Look for When He/She is Evaluating Students? – October 9, 2019 e-newsletter

9.  How to Help Students Respond to an Essay Prompt – May 29, 2019 e-newsletter

10. Admissions Officers Shares SAT Writing Tips for Your Students – March 20, 2019 e-newsletter

Interpreting the new PSAT scores

Results from the October PSAT have been released.

Your PSAT/NMSQT (National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test)  scores are ready online, you should have received an email with instructions on creating your College Board account, going to your online score report, and using your access code to view your scores. The PSAT score report is full of helpful information.

Think of PSAT/NMSQT and PSAT 10 score reports as roadmaps. They show what you’re doing well, and what you should work on to get ready for the SAT—and for college. Sign in to get your scores – https://studentscores.collegeboard.org/home.  Be sure to watch the 2:35 video in the “Understanding Scores” tab – it’s a great explanation of the section scores and the total score. There is also a Sample PSAT/NMSQT Score Report

PSAT/NMSQT or PSAT 10 Score ReportedDetailsScore Range
Total scoreSum of the two section scores.320–1520
Section scores (2)Evidence-Based Reading and Writing, and Math.160–760
Test scores (3)Reading, Writing and Language, and Math.8–38
Cross-test scores (2)Analysis in History/Social Studies and Analysis in Science. Based on selected questions in the Reading, Writing and Language, and Math Tests.8–38
Subscores (7)Reading and Writing and Language: Command of Evidence and Words in Context. Writing and Language: Expression of Ideas and Standard English Conventions. Math: Heart of Algebra, Problem Solving and Data Analysis, and Passport to Advanced Math.1–1

More information on the numbers

When you view your online score reports, you’ll get summaries of your performance on each test and content area. You can also filter results and drill down to see how you performed on easy, medium, and hard questions or on questions that measure different skills. Percentiles will show how you did compared to your peers.

Learn more about the PSAT/NMSQT and PSAT 10 score structure or get help understanding scores.

Here are some basic items to help you to interpret the new PSAT score report:

  • The total score range is now 320-1520. The old 200 – 800 scale has been replaced with a 160 – 760 scale. Some test prep centers are advising that students add 40 points to their tests to have a better sense of what their SAT score might be.
  • There are now two sections: 1) Math and 2) a combined Evidence-Based Reading and Writing, (EBRW).
  • There are test scores and cross-test scores with a range of 8-38 and sub-scores with a range of 1-15. If this isn’t confusing enough, there is a National Merit Scholarship Corporation (NMSC) Selection Index with a range of 48-228.
  • There are two types of percentiles: a Nationally Representative Sample (every other high school junior in the country) and a Test User (compared to other actual test-takers). The former will always be higher and the latter will always be more useful.
  • Remember, no college will ever see these scores.

Everything you need to know about the National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test (NMSQT)

The following information is provided by College Board.

The National Merit® Scholarship Program is an annual academic competition among high school students for recognition and college scholarships. The program is conducted by National Merit Scholarship Corporation (NMSC), a not-for-profit organization that operates without government assistance. The NMSC Selection Index.Reported on a scale ranging from 48 to 228, the Selection
Index score is calculated by doubling the sum of the Reading, Writing and Language, and Math Test scores. For example, a Reading score of 23, a Writing and Language score of 20, and
a Math score of 26.5 would result in a Selection Index score of 139 [2(23+20+26.5)].

How NMSC Uses the Selection Index
NMSC uses the Selection Index score to designate groups of students to receive recognition in the National Merit Scholarship Program. Entry to NMSC’s competition for scholarships to be offered in 2021 is determined by students’ responses to program entry questions on the 2019 PSAT/NMSQT answer sheet. Both the printed PSAT/NMSQT student score report and the online report show the student’s Selection Index, the student’s responses to entry items,and whether the student meets participation requirementsCurrently, about 1.6 million test takers meet requirements to enter NMSC’s competition each year. Almost all entrants are in their third year (grade 11, junior year) of high school.

Of the 1.6 million NMSC program entrants, about 50,000 will earn 2019 PSAT/NMSQT scores high enough to qualify them for recognition. These students will be notified of their
standing through their high schools in September 2020. Students who qualify to continue in the competition for scholarships to be offered in 2021 must then meet academic and other requirements specified by NMSC to be considered for awards

Lee Bierer is an independent college adviser based in Charlotte. Send questions to: lee@collegeadmissionsstrategies.com; www.collegeadmissionsstrategies.com

Helicopter Parenting Hinders Children’s Self-Control Skills

Helicopter parenting is a style of parenting in which parents excessively monitor their children and often remove obstacles from their paths, instead of helping them develop the skills to handle the inevitable difficulties of life. New research conducted by Florida State University that was published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies looked at why helicopter parenting may harm young adults. They found that hovering parents give their children fewer opportunities to practice self-control skills, such as the ability to manage emotions and behaviors. The research also suggests that helicopter parenting from fathers could be especially harmful.

When helicopter parenting hinders development of self-control skills among college students, those students are more likely to experience school burnout — exhaustion from schoolwork, cynical attitudes toward their education and perceived inadequacy.

In their study, researchers used self-reported scores from students about how involved their parents were in their lives, how effective the students were at exercising self-control and how much they experienced school burnout. They controlled for variables, such as gender, race, year in college, family structure and family income.

Dealing with school burnout often spawns more mental health challenges, such as anxiety, depression or addiction, and leads to worse academic outcomes, researchers said.

Researchers also investigated how over-parenting from a mother or a father can lead to different outcomes, something that previous studies had not examined. They found that although emerging adults might experience more over-parenting from mothers, helicopter parenting from fathers is more associated with burnout. That might be because, in the United States, mothers are often perceived as more involved in the daily lives of their children than fathers, researchers explained. When fathers are overly involved, their emerging adult children may feel more stress to perform well in school.

It’s unclear if helicopter parenting by fathers leads to lower self-control scores for students, or if paternal helicopter parenting is a response to lower self-control and school burnout. Researchers said additional work should investigate paternal helicopter parenting over time and examine possible differences in how father-son and father-daughter pairs interact.

For parents who are worried they might be over-involved in the lives of their children, study co-author Ross May, a research assistant professor and the associate director of the Family Institute, recommends self-reflection.

Doctoral student Hayley Love and Professor of Family & Child Sciences Ming Cui contributed to this work. Here is the summary published by Bill Wellock: https://news.fsu.edu/news/2019/11/13/fsu-research-helicopter-parenting-hinders-childrens-self-control-skills/

The ACT is Stressful Enough. Let It Wait

Some of you may have read my recent article about when to start ACT test prep for your child. (See article here) As I have heard back from parents and teachers on this subject and researched the topic further, I have come to some alarming realizations about how much pressure parents and, in some cases, schools are placing on students to study early for this test.

One parent responded to my previous article by noting a friend of hers had started her child in ACT test prep in 7th grade. He was an exceptionally bright student and succeeded in scoring a 35 on the test in 11th grade. That sounds great, right? Well, I would argue that students can learn to master the test starting in 10th grade and still achieve their full potential without needing to maintain the focus – and STRESS – of working on this throughout middle school and early high school. I have a 7th grader. I am enjoying watching him struggle and grow and discover himself during this crucial and formidable time in his life. These are the things I believe he should be doing – exploring new academic and personal interests, failing at some things and learning through those difficult experiences, and succeeding at many other endeavors and gaining an intrinsic sense of self-worth in the process. I have seen the stress that the ACT and all other aspects of applying to college can impart upon students. It doesn’t need to start in 7th grade.

Additionally, I spoke with a teacher who formerly taught at an elite high school about the current trend toward early ACT test prep. I voiced my concerns about this issue, and she shared the following:

“I agree. Freshman year is just too early to start prep and “test prep fatigue” is a real thing. In the school I taught in, the administration was test crazy and test prep began day one in 9th grade. My students hated it and by junior year, many didn’t care anymore because they were so exhausted by test prep. As far as (practice) scores, they peaked at the end of freshman or sophomore year and there was just no way to squeeze any more points out of kids after that. Math was, of course, a big problem in the beginning because tested concepts weren’t covered yet in class, just like you said. The whole process made me so sad. And there was a dip in scores following each summer, naturally.”

My advice? Let your children learn, explore, and grow in their early teen years. There are enough new social and academic pressures for them to sort through and overcome at this age as it is. Adding the pressure of test prep (and, by extension, introducing early pressure about getting into college) in 7th, 8th, or 9th grade will, ultimately, be counterproductive. Our children will become eager to embark on the exciting adventure of applying to college (and leaving us parents behind) soon enough. Let it wait.

This was written by Laura George who is the founder of Laura George Consulting, LLC (https://www.laurageorgeconsulting.com/), a college consulting firm that provides a comprehensive range of services including customized, one-on-one high school entrance exam tutoring (SSAT, HSPT, ISEE, PSAT 8/9) and ACT/SAT tutoring, college essay coaching, and college application and admissions consulting in person for students in the Chicago area and across the country via Zoom. Laura is a graduate of Duke University and Northwestern Kellogg School of Management and a former member of the Kellogg Admissions Committee.

Visit her website at www.laurageorgeconsulting.com, join her informative Facebook group, Parents of College Bound Kids, at https://www.facebook.com/groups/ParentsofCollegeBoundKids/ or reach out to directly at laurageorgeconsulting@gmail.com if you have any questions about this, other test prep, or college admissions questions.  

Contrary to Popular Belief, Crazy-Busy is Not Normal

It’s the week before the big holidays – it’s break time. Do you feel like you want to pull your hair out from the stress? Are students marching into your offices, freaking out while waiting for news from their first-choice colleges? What about the students who are still writing their essays? Or the ones who are adding college to their lists?

Yeah, it’s enough to stress you out. It does not need to be so stressful.

Last year, I spent the last week of December coaching a scholar-athlete as he wrote essays for eight schools while on an African safari with his family. He had been rejected by a super-selective university that had given him a verbal commitment, and he didn’t have a backup plan. (All’s well that ends well: He is now on the crew team at an Ivy.)
 
And while Susan wasn’t texting and exchanging Google docs with a boy on another continent like I was, she did suddenly find herself working with a few students who decided at the last minute to apply to several schools after being told no by their first-choice colleges.
 
We were both pretty busy. But we plan for that. You can plan for that, too.
 
We got through it all with relative ease because we follow a tried-and-true process that works. Every time.
 
We don’t let our students’ emergencies become ours, especially in December. You shouldn’t, either. Contrary to popular belief, crazy-busy is not normal.

If you know us, you know we like to give away free stuff to help you guide your students. We give away free books for you to share with your students and families. And we give free stuff to you, so you can plan for just about anything, and take control of your essay coaching practice. 
 
We’ve got more free stuff as we move the Class of 2020 across the finish line; it’s a good time to consider which aspects of your counseling practice work well and where you could improve.

  • Is your essay process smooth?
  • Are you putting out too many fires?
  • Relying on random resources?
  • Custom solving every problem that comes up?

It doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s our next FREE offer to help you start the year:
 
If you’d like to feel more in control next season, I encourage you to join us on Wednesday, January 15 from 1 to 2 p.m. Eastern, for some insight into how we stay so calm, even when big deadlines approach and parents stress out and students can’t figure out what to write.

We’ll be introducing an exciting new program for professionals – The College Essay Experience, and we’ll be doing some writing, too.

Want to learn more? Join Our Free Monthly Pro Chats

Every month, we host a free professional chat (it’s a short, 30-minute webinar!) for counselors and other professionals. She talks about timely matters and answers pressing questions.

If you can’t make it, don’t worry. Just sign up, and we’ll send you a recording. Register here.

About the Author

Kim Lifton is President of Wow Writing Workshop, a strategic communication company staffed by experts who understand the writing process inside and out. Since 2009, Wow has been leading the industry with our unique approach to communicating any message effectively. The Wow Method helps business and nonprofit leaders create better blogs, manage social media, develop websites and create other communication materials. It also helps students write college application essays, grad school personal statements and resumes that get results. If it involves words, Wow can help.

RCA Hope for Addiction Scholarship

Due to the impact of the opioid epidemic in the United States and the ever expanding need for well trained professionals to help battle addiction, Recovery Centers of America (RCA) launched a scholarship program to encourage college and university students to do their part in the fight against the addiction crisis affecting our nation. We established the RCA Hope for Addiction Scholarship to offer financial assistance that will help undergraduate and graduate students pursue and finish their degrees with the intention of helping people struggling with addiction. We encourage all students to apply, particularly those who are in recovery from addiction themselves.

Eligibility Requirements

  • Students of all majors are encouraged to apply
  • Must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident
  • Must be currently enrolled or in enrollment process at an accredited university, college, or trade school within the United States
  • Must be pursuing a degree and demonstrate a desire to help individuals and families struggling with addiction
  • Limited to one (1) entry per person
  • Recovery Centers of America employees and their immediate families are NOT eligible for entry
  • Scholarship funds must be used to pay for qualified expenses for the 2020-2021 academic year

Step-by-Step Scholarship Entry Process

  1. Draft a 750 – 1,000-word essay in response to the following topic: It’s imperative for individuals and their families to have access to high-quality, affordable, and effective treatment programs in an environment that is comfortable and close to home. How are you planning to use your degree to aid those in recovery? How do you plan to help individuals and families impacted by the disease of addiction?
  2. Please include a short bio of yourself. Your bio should include your name, background, and hometown, along with your interests, goals, college major (or expected college major), and anything else you’d like us to know. Please Note: Your bio does NOT count toward the 750-1000-word count required for the essay.
  3. Send your essay to scholarship@recoverycoa.com by January 31, 2020. Be sure to include the following information in the body of your email:
    • Full Name
    • Date of Birth (mm/dd/yyyy)
    • Address
    • Phone Number
    • Email Address
    • University, college, or trade school where you are currently enrolled or plan to enrollOr you can fill in the form below to submit your essay.
  4. Once the submission period has ended, our judges will review each essay and select one winner no later than February 31, 2020. The winner will be contacted by a Recovery Centers of America representative shortly after a selection has been made.
  5. Scholarship Award is $1,000

Submit your entry here: https://recoverycentersofamerica.com/the-recovery-centers-of-america-scholarship/

Mindshift Guide to Understanding Dyslexia

Holly Korbey of KQED has put together a comprehensive 38 page online guide about Dyslexia. Dyslexia occurs in every language and in children from every background, regardless of race or socioeconomic status.

Stubborn. Not working to potential. Lazy. Unintelligent.

For many students sitting in classrooms right now struggling to read, they have already heard these words, or thought them about themselves. Yet no matter how hard they try, when these same students look at the page of a book or worksheet, the letters seem to move around and shift. Was the word pit or tap? Their or through?

For others, words come together so slowly to form coherent sentences, the first test question is barely answered when the rest of the class is nearly finished.

This is the daily given for students with dyslexia, a biological, brain-based reading condition connected to speech and language that makes reading words and sentences extremely difficult. Experts estimate that anywhere between 5 and 20 percent of school children have a form of dyslexia.

Dyslexia is, in fact, the root of 80 percent of all learning disabilities, and yet in many families, schools, and even businesses, it’s still profoundly misunderstood.

Chapters include:

1. Dyslexia is a different brain, not a disease

2. Recognizing Dyslexia in children

3. Educators and Dyslexia

4. Parents and Dyslexia

5. Technology Aids for Dyslexics

6. Possibilities

Information about additional resources is also included in the guide.

Here is a link to the online guide: https://kqed-org-assets.s3-us-west-1.amazonaws.com/Mindshift-Guide-to-Understanding-Dyslexia.pdf

Train Your Mind to Think New Thoughts

If you want to think new thoughts, you have to know what you are already thinking. Your brain wants to think things that it has always thought. For example, try brushing your teeth with your left hand. It is hard, because it is something that your brain is not used to doing. 

You also want to be able to distinguish between thoughts that are actually true and thoughts that have just been burned into your memory. I think about my friend Dr. Cali Estes. Her dad always called her fat as a kid. A lot of people would have eternalized this and chose to think that they were fat. Cali didn’t do that. It is awesome when we can be told something our entire life and then consciously choose to think a different thought. Everything that you think is a choice. 

To start you have to identify thoughts that you are thinking now. You really have to pay attention to this for it to work. There are probably several negative thoughts that you are thinking that you do not even know you are thinking! Now is the time for that to stop. 

Affirmations are a great way to start training yourself intentionally. This is where I started. I started by writing down things I was committed to. For example, I am committed to working out 5 days a week. That was a positive thought that kept me on track with my thinking and my goals.  

Podcasts – Murder show? Or self development show? These two very different categories are going to change the way you think. If you are listening to murder shows you are going to be looking over your shoulder and thinking about people dying all the time. If you are listening to self development shows you are going to be filled with positivity that is going to make you a better person. What you are listening to is altering the way you think. 

Music how do you feel after you listen to Lizzo compared to a ballad by Adele? Both are fantastic, but make you feel much different. Think about it? Are you putting music in your head that is creating a better person? Is it making you feel happy and energetic? Or are you listening to something super sad and wallowing in your sadness? 

Shows – I swear This is Us makes me a better person. After I watch it I just want to love more. I relax when I watch it and it is so good that I just want to be good too! Here is another example on the other end.. There is a show called Snapped that I watched one day. I don’t know why, but I did. There was a lady on there that had some kind of psychotic episode and shot her 3 year old son in the head and then when her other son ran away she chased him down and shot him in the head. I thought about this for weeks. Why in the world would we watch things like this and fill our minds with trash that does not serve us? It was the only time I ever watched that show. Pay attention to what you are watching. 

People around you have a huge influence on what you think. I used to work at a job where there were a lot of awesome people. But there 2 people there that literally complained about everything and they liked me so they always sat by me at lunch and meetings. Avoiding them was almost impossible. Their lives sucked and they did not want to have good lives. They just wanted to talk about how much they hated everything. Eventually, they started bringing me down to the point where I had to hide from them just so I didn’t get the negativity on me. It is okay to choose who you are around, in face, I suggest it. 

So let’s get back to the thoughts we think. 

Here are some thoughts that  you might be thinking.. 

I can’t afford that. 

That is hard. 

I will never be that thin. 

Work is hard. 

You have to work a lot to be rich. 

I don’t have enough time.

I can’t focus. 

I am a hot mess. 

If I eat that I will get fat. 

She is prettier than me. 


The list could literally go on and on. From now on I want you to recognize your thoughts. And see if you can change them.. Here are some examples.. 

I can’t afford that. – I am choosing not to spend my money on that right now. 

That is hard. – With the right skills and effort I can do that. 

I will never be that thin. – It is possible that if I worked at it I could be that thin. 

Work is hard. – Work is easy. 

You have to work a lot to be rich. – Being rich has little to do with how hard I work. 

I don’t have enough time.- I have plenty of time. 

I can’t focus. – I am choosing not to focus. 

I am a hot mess. –  I’m learning from my mistakes. 

If I eat that I will get fat. – Eating one thing does not make me fat. 

She is prettier than me. – I am beautiful. 

One of my favorite people is Brooke Castillo. I have learned so much about coaching from her. She is golden and super successful. She talks about the thoughts that she chooses to believe every single day. She has a podcast, The Life Coach School Podcast. It is for everyone. It is sooooo gooooood. I listen to it all the time. 

Here are the 10 thoughts that she chooses to think. 

  1. You are 100% lovable.
  2. A great life is determined by the amazing goals you commit to, not necessarily achieve.
  3. Money is awesome. 
  4. The discomfort of growth is always better than the discomfort of stagnation.
  5.  Adults are allowed to behave how they want. 
  6. Your spouse’s only job is to be there for you to love.
  7. You create your experience, it doesn’t happen to you.
  8.  Nothing is too good to be true. 
  9. The future is always better than the past. 
  10.  The worst that can happen is a feeling. 

She talks about Thoughts to Believe in her podcast here. If you are driving or working out, you should listen to her podcast. It is great! I even had the opportunity to join her coaching membership that inspired me to start Transition YOUniversity. 

I hope this helps you in changing your thinking. It is important. The more positive you are the more positive people you are going to attract into your life. 

Get started today thinking the thoughts that you chose to think! 

JoBeth Evans has five years of experience teaching high school, and has been teaching public speaking at the University of Arkansas for five years. She holds a bachelor’s degree from the University of Arkansas and a master’s degree from Arkansas Tech University. She is a nationally certified life coach with a total of three different coaching-related certificates.  In her work as a life coach, she helps teen girls make the transition from high school to college. In addition, JoBeth is a speaker and writer who works to equip young women for the major life transition of entering college.  She can be reached at jobethevans@outlook.com.

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